Tuesday, November 22, 2011

The end of an era....

DISCLAIMER:My thoughts are firing faster then my typing so some of this may bounce around and may seem jumbled and cryptic...for this I apologize. And yes I know this has nothing to do with Eve.

So I am kind of in this place bordering depression and curiosity.  Recent and possible future events have me wondering what it is I want to do with life and what I would like to accomplish in it.

Now here comes the part with the scoffs, eye rolls and ridicule :).  I have been a fan of the Harry Potter movies since 2002 and have looked forward to every release since.  I haven't read the books and had been waiting to see Deathly Hallows Pt 2 to start, not wanting to ruin the story and magic of the big screen.  Well, I watched Pt 2 on Sunday and needless to say it was bittersweet.  No new releases.  No wondering what happens next (well there is plenty of wondering, but doubtful anything will come of it).  It made me stop and think.  We have watched the actors grow up before our very eyes. To some of as as children, to others as peers.  My own daughter is 9, born the year The Chamber of Secrets released.  Since the 1920's movies have shaped generations. Will we ever see another series of movies that capture a generation the way the HP movies did?

I am going on 31.  My dad will probably not make it through next year. My mom passed away in 2004.  I feel confronted by my own mortality, and not sure how I like it.  I have many regrets in life, far to many to list.  My life was a fucked up mess from 13-28.  I made more mistakes in that time frame then 10 people do in their lifetime.  I now feel confronted with figuring out what I want to do with myself.  I have worked for a major company in one of their foundries since 2004.  It is honorable enough work, but it is not something I see myself doing for 30+ years.  I have a degree in Microbiology, but since I never pursued it as a career(due to a mistake made in life) I am far to rusty on the knowledge to apply it.

I am now in the process of reevaluating my life and where I want to be.  I do not want to look back on a life full of regrets.  I need to figure what is important, really important, to me and pursue it.  Life is only so long and the decisions and actions you make shape generations.

SO where does that leave me?  I am going to go back to school.  For what yet I am unsure, but I am going anyway.  I am sure I will eventually figure it out.

 I am going to take care of my family.  I have a wonderful wife and two beautiful children that I want to do right by. 

I am going to quit smoking, change my diet, ad start working out again.  We have one body, one life.  I no longer intend on shortening it by damaging it.  I have partied like a musician(which I also am) for the last 17 years and it is taking its toll.

Stop looking and worrying about the past and future. One we can no longer control, the other we can shape.  We shape our futures in the present.  If I always worry about what is to come, I will miss what is already here.

So with that I will leave you with this philosophical tirade lol.  Remember that life is short and it is NEVER too late to make changes and go after the stars.

Funny that a movie series makes you realize that and opens your eyes to your potential, eh?

In life

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